Who wipes their ass with 100% cotton bunnies every day?

Photo credits: Thank you, j m griffin

I'm going to keep this is as clean as I possibly can. 


There's this strange new fashion running in around in families with pretty decorative napkins called "Poo Wipes". Homemade poo wipes. Sew your own decorative poo wipes with beautiful embroidery and owls or little blue and brown sparrows, and then throw them in the trash next to your toilet. I mean hell, there's bunnies? Who wipes their ass with 100% cotton bunnies every day? 

Pooping has never been so... crafty...?

And then the hippie mothers, which I too once had bonded with my earth loving sisters, had begun a new ridiculous trend to throw on top of this. "Reusable pads". Reusable menstruating pads. I'm not kidding. Same concept. Except you leave it in your pants. And.. I just can't imagine.

Now, I'm not being a typical consumer. Sure, I've.. gone out to venture in the woods like bears and used the leaves. (Camping is camping in my family. We do not raise poons.) However, I refuse to use fabric that has gone from the other side of the world and back. So to speak. Because that's nasty as hell. 

I mean seriously, I have been broke. I have been flat broke. I have been so broke that I've had peas for dinner. But I still had toilet paper. And if I didn't I had something else. I had a paper towel. I had kleenex. And oh hell, have I had uncomfortable scratchy fast food napkins.

But there's no way in hell, that you could have convinced my broke white ass that it needs cotton cloth covered in decorative circles and blue jays.

If, if you should feel so inclined to save the environment with your rear, then please let me suggest two things to you...

1. A bidet
A water spray for cleaning that is not nasty as hell. 
2. Diva Cup
A diva cup is the CLEAN alternative to the alternative of anything else alternative. Yes, it's a little pricey at first. But if your goal is to not have to buy feminine hygiene products.. then there you go. You're set for at least a year.

 (You're not saving the environment by pouring all of that detergent and bleach back into the environment anyway.)

And to prevent men from being disgusted, I will kindly just post a video below. And if you click on the blue links above, I've linked you to the best quality for the lowest price. 

keywords: homemaking, bathroom, toilet paper, derrier, reusable wipes, environment, economy, economics, trees, paper vs cloth, 

Your Cell Phone Bill is Expensive and Mine is $8 A Month: Here’s Why

Photo Credits; Thank you: Jakub Krechowicz

To get this out of the way: I have been asked what phone I have. I have this one. 

A couple of years ago I had an amazing thing called a contract phone. And that contract phone had a mind of it’s own… or of a corporation. Periodically, despite whatever the contract said that I had signed it came to me with “miracle bills” in the mail. More like “devil bills”.


I lowered my phone bill from costing me around $65 a month at the very least to $8.

Here’s the catch: I have to have two numbers. But I’m always around WiFi. So, I don’t mind.

Once it was $78. Another time it was $142. And random times, since I had no idea how to save money it came to me with a brilliant $480 phone bill. It took me days and days of research. It took a lot of learning and researching phone plans. Having been a person who didn’t know much about having an android (but somehow everything about a flip phone) I had to research the art of “Apps”.

I knew nothing about Apps.

I bought an android cellphone that would connect to the WiFi anywhere. Even without service. This phone cost me about $80. This came with a $25 dollar phone card. So, the android phone itself was really about $55.

Here is what is important.

That $25 phone card lasts for 3 months for as long as the minutes are there. So around 480 minutes and 250 free texts I have what I like to call “my outdoor phone”.  (What you would consider a cell phone.)  So, this averages to $8.33 a month.

Nobody calls anyone anymore. Everyone texts.  I rarely need to use text when I’m outside because I am outside. Everywhere I go there is usually free WiFi around. And I have an App. This app is called TextPlus which you can download here.

I pay the usual $0.99 when I want minutes at home. Which is almost never. If I want to make a phone call I can use Google Talk and call locally for free. And with TextPlus, as long as you’re connected to your WiFi around you and not your service plan you can text whoever in the US for free.

So! To the basics.

Android Phone= $55 initially
Service plan for out of the house/emergency phone= $8.33 Averaging per month
Texting= (with WiFi) Free & Unlimited
Home phone plan= (with TextPlus & WiFi) $0.99 for 40 minutes as I go, when I want OR call out with Google Talk for free.

So, how much is your bill?








tags: save money, phone bill, cellphones, making bank, bills, finances, home, verizon, at&t, wireless, wireless phone bill, how to save money